If Only I Knew
by coralianbutterfly
Summary: Cloud struggles to learn what love really is while trying to get over himself. In a world where nothing makes sense anymore, how is he supposed to try? And how long will Tifa wait for him, even if she's the only teacher Cloud's got? AU. CloTi; CloudxTifa.
1. Chapter 1: Leaving

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **I'm tired and it's three AM in the morning here. Well… two-thirty. This takes place sometime before Advent Children, yet they have Denzel. This is before Cloud got his head straight and stuff. Actually… this is kind of AU. 'Cept not really.

**Spoilers: **Spoiler for the end of CD one. Not really any Advent Children spoilers.

**Warnings: **None that I can think of at the moment. Except for angst. Maybe in a later chapter… I dunno.

--

There are some things I wish I knew. Things like… how to raise kids, or… how to be in a romantic relationship. How to help others instead of causing ruin. Smiling. I would like that one the most. Learning how to smile. I don't mean in that oddly forced fashion, either. I mean… _really_ being able to smile. I know that's something I have to learn. But… this time… I don't want to learn it on my own. There's people now that want to help me. Barret, Marlene, Denzel… Tifa. I don't think I could do anything without Tifa.

Tifa is the only reason I'm not dead yet. That's what I think at least. With the help of Marlene and Denzel, she's the only reason I go home at all. I know without a doubt that I would have let misery swallow me in an instant if it wasn't for Tifa. I never understood how she could smile after Aeris died, but she did. And… with her help… I'm learning how to do it, too. If only I knew, though. I know that she isn't a simple childhood friend anymore, but… what is she to me, then? Are we like family? Is she like a sister to me? Mother of my kids? Or… am I in love?

Oh, if only I knew. I don't understand love quite yet. I know that it's an emotion of high affection towards someone. I know I still have a lot to learn, but… how long is it going to take me to learn it? I didn't know how long it would take until Tifa showed me. I cursed myself for being so… oblivious… but what's done is done. It wasn't until that day that I truly knew what was going on in my head. For once.

_**--One month ago…--**_

Cloud stared blankly at the mirror like he didn't know what he was supposed to do with it. The reflection just didn't feel right. Was his hair too spiky this morning? Or maybe it was the tired look on his face from waking up early as usual. No… it was probably the fact that Cloud saw another day of trying to figure out just who he was ahead of him. Yes… that was it. Cloud turned away from the mirror with a frown and headed downstairs, ready for the day's deliveries.

"Cloud," a quiet voice stopped him before he got to the door. He should have known. "You were just going to leave? Without saying goodbye?"

Cloud turned his head and cobalt eyes stared into deep brown. Tifa had a way of knowing exactly when he was going to run off, even if he tried to head out earlier than he thought she'd be awake. At least she never bothered to wake the kids. That would only be a pain and that was the last thing Cloud needed at the moment. As if his job wasn't already hard enough, even if he was just trying to turn the doorknob…

"Cloud," Tifa stated firmly. "You were, weren't you? … I see." She sighed and started to get up from her seat at the bar where she'd been wiping a glass clean. Didn't she ever manage to get them all clean at once?

"…Goodbyes… were never easy for me," Cloud said slowly. What else was he to say? 'Sorry, Tifa, I didn't want to say goodbye because I hate seeing the face you make when I do.' No. that would definitely not work. She'd only get mad.

"They're not easy for anyone, Cloud." Oh great. Tifa was giving him one of _those_ looks. The look that said, 'I can't believe you're just going to walk out on me again and leave me like I'm nothing to you at all.' If only she knew just how much those words _weren't_ true. "But yet you still expect me to be okay with it?"

"I have to go, Tifa," Cloud interrupted. "I have deliveries--"

"They can wait!" Cloud snapped his attention to Tifa by turning his head and staring at her with his eyes a little wider than usual. She seemed to be a lot more upset than usual. Why…? "What do you have to deliver that can be more important than m--" Tifa stopped herself and looked away quickly. "I thought that maybe today you could eat breakfast with everyone… Maybe today you'd say goodbye… Maybe, maybe, maybe… Is that all it ever is with you, Cloud?"

Cloud turned his head back so that he was staring at the door. Her words might have rung true, but that didn't stop them from hurting. When did she learn to be so venomous with her tongue?

"I don't know about anything that has to do with me anymore, Tifa," Cloud stated quietly. He then stepped forward and yanked the door open. He said, "Goodbye," as he closed the door behind him. Tifa heard the roar of his bike as he pulled away from her again.

"I'll never get things right," she said sadly to herself. "I'll only ever keep pushing him away like this." Tifa then got up and went upstairs, already calling to the kids. "Marlene… Denzel… it's time to wake up."

As she approached the door, Tifa heard giggling. Curious, she opened the door to find both kids awake, dressed, and energetic. What could have done this, especially at this hour? That's when Denzel ran up to Tifa and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the window where Marlene sat.

"Tifa… Tifa! Look, look! Cloud left us a present!"

--

**Author's Note:** Okay, so… Now it's up to your reviews. Your enthusiasm will inspire me. Please keep me going! If you CloTi fans are up to it, I might throw in a nice chapter or maybe a nice side story. :3 Just, please… PLEASE send a review. You don't have to write anything! Just add it to your favorites or subscribe so that you can read the whole thing! For me?


	2. Chapter 2: Presents

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **Hm. It's not nearly as late as last time, though I am pretty tired.

**Spoilers: **Uh… None that I can think of. Unless you count the fact that the flowers are from her church. Not that that's very spoiler-ish.

**Warnings: **Uh… Cloud kind of laughs (but not really)? None that I can think of, really.

--

"_Tifa… Tifa! Look, look! Cloud left us a present!"_

Tifa was completely and utterly confused. Why would Cloud have left a present? More importantly: What kind of present would Cloud have left? She wandered over to the window in which Marlene was still looking out, blinking. Cloud was never much of a present-giver, so she didn't know why the kids were so excited. Tifa looked next to Marlene and sighed, seeing three different things.

The first thing she noticed was a medium-sized wooden sword shaped like Cloud's buster sword and a wooden staff about the same size. Tifa guessed which one was for which kid and she smiled a little. That was wonderfully nice of him, knowing how each kid was fond of the person who used a similar weapon. Okay, so maybe he didn't get some bad gifts this time.

The second thing she noticed, and what really seemed to make the kids giggle, was what appeared to be Tifa's own present. She gently picked up the small, glass vase--which was beautifully crafted--and stared in wonder at the flower within it. It was a white, slightly glowing flower from Aeris's church. After she'd picked up the vase, Tifa noticed a small card underneath. She shifted the case carefully into one hand and picked it up, instantly recognizing Cloud's handwriting. It read:

_Goodbye. Sorry._

Tifa smiled a little at the card. Maybe he wasn't so hopeless after all. Tifa had to admit that he could be a little odd at times, but Cloud was Cloud. Despite the fact that it was only two words, that was all Tifa really felt she needed. At least he had said goodbye.

The sudden noise of wood hitting wood knocked Tifa out of her mind. Denzel and Marlene were already playing with their harmless weapons, laughing and giggling. Yeah, this wasn't so bad.

"Marlene, Denzel… Please go outside and play. I don't want anything broken in here." The kids stopped, nodded excitedly, and ran out for the front door. Tifa made way into her room and set the vase on her dresser, staring at it for a moment before going downstairs. She had to get ready to open the bar later that night, anyways.

It was almost time to open up when Tifa's cell phone rang. She dried her hands on a towel and walked up to her room to get it. Barret had come by earlier and picked up the kids, claiming that if Marlene and Denzel had those new weapons, maybe he could help them both learn to use them, so the area was quieter than usual. Tifa picked up the phone and flipped it open, instantly putting it by her face.

"Hello?"

"_Hey," _Cloud replied.

Tifa smiled a little and answered, "Hello. What's up?" She couldn't help it. Cloud didn't usually call much, especially not while he was out on deliveries.

"_Nothing… Will you close the bar tonight?"_

Tifa blinked in surprise. He'd never asked her to do that before. Why would he even want her to? He was out on deliveries and might not even be home for a few days…

"Why? What's the reason?" Tifa asked.

"…_No reason…"_

Okay, now he sounded crazy. He didn't have a reason? Oh, what was Cloud thinking? Not that it wasn't a question Tifa asked herself often.

"Cloud… I make gil off the bar… What's the reason?"

A slight exhale of air that Tifa knew was actually a quarter-chuckle sounded over the earpiece. _"Because I'm home early?"_

At this, Tifa blinked. She quickly walked over to her window, for it looked out at the front. Sure enough, Cloud was there and leaning against his bike, staring up at her window… up at her.

"_Hungry?" _Cloud asked. _"How about dinner?"_

There was a small click as he flipped his phone shut, ending the call.

--

**Author's Note: **Okay, so this chapter kind of sucked. Again, please leave me some reviews. I currently haven't an idea where I'm taking this, so let me organize my head some… I'm trying to remain in-character so if you see any moments that might need to be edited, do tell. I like constructive criticism and I promise not to be angry over it.


	3. Chapter 3: Dinner

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **Okay, so sorry this took longer to write. Like I said before, I was having inspiration and plot issues. If this chapter sucks, I'm sorry. D: You reserve the right to hit me. By the way, all the random "--" means a time skip. Usually not a long one, though.

**Spoilers: **Nada.

**Warnings: **Crappy writing. Tipsy Tifa.

--

"_Hungry?" Cloud asked. "How about dinner?" There was a small click as he flipped his phone shut, ending the call._

Tifa blinked, surprised. Had Cloud really just asked her out to dinner? That was unusual. Tifa always made dinner at the bar. It was hard to go back to the city sometimes. The memories could flood Cloud's head, making him nearly impossible to deal with. But… Cloud was Cloud. How could she refuse?

Tifa closed her own cell phone and put it in a pocket, quickly leaving her room. She straightened her hair a bit with her fingers and checked to make sure both earrings were still there; the small things had an odd habit of falling out all over the place. Tifa could hear the roar of an engine as she walked to the door, and opened it to see Cloud sliding his goggles down onto his face. Tifa had to blink a bit more, just to let the situation make sense.

The raven-haired woman slowly wandered over to the bike and stared at Cloud. He stared back for a few seconds before looking forward and revving the engine. Tifa couldn't help but smile a little while Cloud seemed like he was ready to speed off again.

"Are you going to get on or not?" he asked.

"Sorry," Tifa apologized and she threw one leg over the side, making herself comfortable.

"Hold on," Cloud told her and Tifa wrapped her arms around his torso, holding on quite closely. The bike then shot off instantly into the town.

--

Cloud stopped the bike in front of an interesting-looking place. Tifa couldn't say that she'd been there before, but it's not like she'd ever really tried to get to know Midgar very well. Though the building itself looked rather shabby on the outside, noises drifted from the inside that made Tifa think she was at another bar. They quickly got off the bike and by the time Tifa was off, Cloud was already halfway to the door.

The inside was great. It wasn't a bar after all, but it sure felt like one. The atmosphere was surprisingly calm as everyone was laughing at some private joke or situation within their party. Everyone just looked so happy to be there that Tifa felt bad about feeling down earlier in the day. That's just how joyous the mood was.

"Two," she heard Cloud tell someone who, by the looks of it, was a waitress. The woman beckoned them to follow and she walked off. Both adults were led to a comfy table for two in a back corner, where the mood was still bright, but it seemed quieter. Tifa liked it a lot.

"Is there anything I can get you to drink?" the waitress asked. Tifa looked a little surprised. Usually she took drink orders; it was obvious she didn't get out much. But the waitress looked so enthused, as if she liked her job. Not that it was a bad thing to like one's job. Tifa rather enjoyed hers.

"Just water for now." Cloud seemed to have sensed Tifa's surprise and ordered for both. That was fine. She didn't want to drink alcohol at the moment and everything else just wasn't in interest. The waitress nodded and walked away.

Tifa looked over at Cloud and smiled a little, which earned her a semi-confused facial expression off the blond. "Why were you home early?" she asked.

Cloud sighed and averted his gaze down to the floor on his side. "I finished up early and thought that after your… after this morning, maybe I wouldn't just stay somewhere instead." He caught Tifa trying not to chuckle and frowned a bit. "What?"

"The kids loved your presents," Tifa blurted out. "They were perfect. A sword like yours for Denzel and a staff like--" She caught herself quickly and quickly reworded her sentence. "Marlene loved hers, too."

Cloud looked up at Tifa with a weary expression. "What was that?" he asked.

"What was what?"

"You changed the sentence… Why?"

Tifa was the one to fall oddly silent this time, taking an interest in a hole in the wooden floor halfway between both of their chairs. "It's just… I know that it's hard for you… with _her_ being gone… I was just trying not to upset you," she stated honestly. "Usually you get upset about it and disappear. Even though I know where you went, I still don't follow… I don't want to push you that far away. It's hard when you leave, 'cause I never know if you'll come ba--"

"Stop it," Cloud muttered. He sounded oddly sullen and gloomy. "Just stop it right now, Tifa."

"Why?" Cloud had to look up at Tifa. When she asked that, she sounded so hurt. That was his fault… wasn't it? "Why do we have to stop talking? Can't you stop? Stop running. Cloud, please, what goes on in that head of yours?"

Cloud frowned deeply before looking at the wall. "Let's not ruin this dinner."

That seemed to get Tifa off his case, she merely nodded before smiling a little, as if their previous conversation hadn't happened at all. "I suppose we should look at the menus," she stated. "So that we don't look stupid when the waitress comes with our drinks."

--

After dinner, they both sat there. Cloud actually looked relatively happy. Though his expression didn't show very much, he wasn't sitting stiffly in his chair anymore. Nor was he staring at any place but Tifa. That was something she rather liked.

"…So then Marlene kept up her part of the "deal" and gave Denzel a girly makeover! I think I still have the pictures," Tifa laughed.

Cloud chuckled a bit, leaning back in his seat. It'd been an hour or more since they'd finished and paid the bill, but the restaurant wasn't busy, so no one had bothered to kick them out.

"I think it's time to be going," Cloud stated calmly, still slightly amused by the story. The kids were great… it made the blond resent the fact he missed all those moments. He got up out of his chair and held a hand out to Tifa. Apparently she liked that, for one night, she could be the drunk. Which is exactly why she stumbled when she stood. Who made that skirt-thing so long, anyways!?

"Oops," Tifa chuckled with a half-nervous, half-goofy smile. Cloud smirked and leant his support, not that she needed it all that much. The dark-haired woman didn't seem to mind the strong arm wrapped protectively around her and Cloud seemed more than amused by how silly she was acting.

--

By the time they got home, Tifa's buzz seemed to have worn off. She was tired then, almost to the point of collapsing. Cloud had his arm now securely around her waist--though neither thought anything of it at the moment--and was trying to open the door.

As soon as it opened, Cloud clunked in noisily, cursing his boots mentally. Tifa was lucky if she was even aware anymore and she somehow made it to the couch. Cloud hadn't noticed, since he'd been trying to close the door silently, thinking she was already asleep. He was surprised, to say the least, when he saw her on the couch.

"Nn… Cloud," she mumbled. The blond-haired man (silently) clunked over to the couch and stared down at Tifa. "…Had fun… thanks…"

Cloud smirked a little before bending down. Despite Tifa's super-strength, she didn't weigh a lot. Many would assume that she was so much heavier because of muscle or something, but Cloud didn't think so. Then again, he was stronger than most himself, though not like Tifa. Either way, he was able to carry her up slowly to her room.

Thoughts were sent spinning through his head as she clung weakly to his shirt, sleep starting to claim her. What exactly was Tifa to him? After all these years, surely she couldn't be just a regular friend… Just when Cloud thought he was going to get a headache, Tifa's bedroom door presented itself. He sighed gratefully and nudged it open with his foot.

Her room was surprisingly clean. That's what Cloud noticed. It was as if all the dust and grime just simply ignored the place. Almost like she fought dirt now instead of evil and companies that try to kill the planet. His own room wasn't terribly messy, but it's not like he ever bothered to pick anything up. Come to think of it, his room should be a pig sty. Tifa probably cleaned it while he was gone.

Cloud shrugged off all the added thoughts and walked slowly to the bed. He was partially afraid of getting dirt on the floor. Once there, he laid Tifa down gently and made sure to pull one blanket up to her shoulders. He turned to leave, but was stopped by a pressure on his arm. Cloud turned around to see Tifa gripping his elbow area, but by the looks of it she was now completely asleep. Any normal person would have wondered how a sleeping girl could hold on so tightly, but Cloud knew better.

He gently took her arm off and tucked it back under the blanket. His head was so clouded from the earlier thoughts that instinct decided to take over. Before Cloud knew--or understood--what he was doing, he laid a butterfly kiss on Tifa's forehead and backed off. However, before he left, he heard Tifa mumble something in her sleep.

"…Cloud… don't leave. … Love… you…"

Then she rolled over before he had any time to react.

--

**Author's Note: **I feel so cruel. This chapter is way longer than all the other ones. I don't even know when this story is going to end anymore. sigh Reviews are my lovers now. Please keep me inspired. I love you all, especially my subscribers! mwah Now it's time for sleep. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up soon. Let my brain storm.


	4. Chapter 4: Enough

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **Okay, so at one point it switches between Tifa's conversation and Cloud's conversation. Be warned. Again, sorry for the crappiness.

**Spoilers: **End-of-CD 1 spoiler involving Aeris. If you've seen AC, it's no biggie.

**Warnings: **Bad attempts at Barrett and Cid's dialogs.

--

"…_Cloud… don't leave. … Love… you…" Then Tifa rolled over before Cloud had any time to react._

He was mortified. Scared beyond reason. Surely she didn't know what she was talking about. How could anyone love him, least of all Tifa? He ran away when things got too hard, he was never home, and he always seemed as if he didn't care. What was so special about him? Cloud wanted to shake Tifa by the shoulders while yelling, "WHY?!" in her face, but he didn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

Deciding was the worst. Cloud felt that if he left the room, it'd be running away. But what else was he to do? The only alternative seemed to be the shaking. He finally chose to leave the room, telling himself that it wasn't running as long as he didn't ignore it. Yes, as long as Cloud remembered Tifa's drunken, tired mumbling, he was definitely _not_ running away from the problem.

--

Morning came quickly. Tifa woke to find herself in her room. She didn't quite remember getting there, it seemed. Something was poking her annoyingly, too. Tifa felt herself becoming annoyed, seeing as how the kids were going to be gone all weekend with Barrett.

"Ti-_faaaa_!" something whined. Oh, wait. It sounded familiar. Tifa figured she should know this one… "Ti-fa! Get up, you sleepy bum!"

Oh, right. Yuffie.

"Yuffie… Leave me alone. And stop the poking," Tifa mumbled as she tried to cover herself with her blankets. No such luck. Yuffie yanked them all off, sheets and all, with a frustrated moan.

"No! We all came over here for a reason and you're going to get up!" Yuffie then tried to pry Tifa up, but to no avail.

"Wait… 'we all'? Who else is here!?" Tifa shot up quickly, sending Yuffie backwards.

"Cid, Cait, Vincent, and yours truly," Yuffie stated blankly. "You didn't know we were coming? Cloud said--"

"Cloud?" Tifa asked curiously. "What… Why are you all here anyways?"

Yuffie sighed. Loudly and dramatically. "Cloud called. Didn't know he still had our numbers, the weirdo. Never picks up… Anyways, he said it was urgent and to come immediately. Once I got here, though, he sent me up here. Dunno why. So, get up!"

Tifa looked at Yuffie like she just arrived butt-naked on a hot pink chocobo and a neon blue snake wrapped around her shoulders. "Urgent?" she asked. "What's so urgent that he'd need to talk to everyone?"

"Dunno," Yuffie stated simply. "But apparently it's not for women or children's ears. Did I mention that Barrett came back with the kids?"

"No," Tifa stated flatly. "You didn't. This is… odd."

--

"Yo, man, that's harsh!" Barrett stated loudly as he thudded his natural arm roughly against Cloud's back. "Whatchu gonna do 'bout it? Need some tips?"

"This isn't of our concern," Vincent stated calmly. "As always, this is Cloud's choice and Cloud's choice alone."

"I don't know what yer talkin' about!" Cid grumbled at Vincent. "This man's thicker than them Turks, 'specially when it comes ta women. I say let's give 'im all the tips we can."

Cloud sighed. He knew telling everyone was a bad idea. He hadn't expected Yuffie to tag along, so he'd asked her to go wake Tifa since she was not going to be all bouncy in his face. "I don't know what to do at all, or even if I should do anything." He stared up at Cid and Barrett as they opened their mouths to protest, instantly silencing them. "For now, I've just been thinking. Don't any of you worry about it, I shouldn't have told you."

Barrett and Cid instantly looked defeated, while Vincent nodded. "That seems best," he said calmly. "Think it through and do what you think is best, but be sure to tell us of the outcome." The other two nodded in agreement.

"What's going on?" Tifa asked as she came downstairs. She'd managed to clean up a bit, and Yuffie was already among the group. Cait Smith wasn't around, so Tifa figured he was entertaining the kids. "…Cloud?"

All the men nudged each other and then walked out. Barrett cast a final glance at them and walked out. "I'll be borrowin' Marlene and Denzel again. I think it's time those kids learned how to ride one of them yellow bird-things."

Yuffie stared at them for a moment before she heard a cough. Turning around, she noticed Vincent turn and leave. She got the hint. "Oh! Er… see you all later, then?" She laughed nervously at the fact that she was last one out, and departed quickly.

"Cloud?" Tifa asked quietly. "What's going on? Yuffie said you called everyone… that it was urgent. And what do you have to think about? Is something going on?"

Cloud averted his gaze and shook his head slowly. "No."

"Stop lying," Tifa whispered harshly. Cloud looked up and blinked, seeing that she looked terribly upset. More so than he thought he'd ever seen. "I'll not have you do this, Cloud. You won't leave me out of anything again. I won't stand for it!" She finished the few steps off the stairs and stood before Cloud. "I don't know what's going on, but I will. I'm tired of it, Cloud! I'm not going to wait around like some lost dog!"

Cloud winced visibly and averted his gaze again. "There are some things in my mind that I don't know, Tifa. How am I supposed to let you in on that?"

"Tell me what you do know, Cloud." Tifa stared unwaveringly at his face, searching it and begging for him to look her in the eye. "Look at me, Cloud. Look at me and tell me something--_anything_!"

Cloud was hurt by how desperate she sounded. He was forced to think, again, why she cared so much. What was so special about _his_ thoughts and feelings?

"Why?" Cloud asked quietly. "Why… do you care so much? What's so great about me anyways?" He couldn't resist. He had to ask. He had to know.

"I…" Tifa hesitated for a moment. Should she really tell him? Was this the time, while fighting like this? It seemed like the only response, but… it almost seemed like betrayal to say it now. "Because I love you, Clou--"

"Why!?" Cloud was staring at Tifa now, searching her face as if the answers were hidden there. "I don't get it, Tifa. What part of me is there to love? I'm cold, I'm useless, and I'm frightened of the world! What makes me so much better than everyone else?"

That's when the sky fell. The ground shook and opened up to a pit in which Tifa's heart fell into. Those words, those questions, were almost like rejection. A harsh and cold one, at that. Tifa felt as if her life had just been ripped from under her and cast to the traveling winds.

"You don't understand and you never will, Cloud," Tifa stated rather coolly. "Not until you understand just what exactly is going on in that brain of yours and not until you learn to accept that Aeris is dead."

Cloud frowned, glaring a little. "You think I don't know that? I know that she'll never laugh, yell, or anything ever again."

Tifa laughed humorlessly. "There's a difference, Cloud. You think you killed her. You didn't; Sephiroth did. You think you let her die, but there was nothing you could do. You want it to be different so that she'd still be here, but what's done is done. You may _know_ she's dead, but you haven't _accepted_ it."

Cloud frowned more and turned around. "I'm leaving. I had work anyways." He was caught by surprise as something shifted past him. When he blinked, Tifa was already at the door. He thought that she was telling him to get out when Seventh Heaven's door opened sharply, but he thought wrong. Cloud took one step toward it, and Tifa was on her way out.

"No, Cloud. This time I'm the one leaving you."

Before Cloud could do anything, the door was slammed shut and she was gone. Cloud had his hand out in a "don't go" kind of gesture, but it was weak and she hadn't seen it. Tifa was gone. And he wasn't sure she was coming back.

--

**Author's Note: **I hope I didn't make Tifa seem to whiny or anything. I'd be mad, too. But I like the role reversal here. I read my summary and thought, "I'm getting off-topic." Now I'm trying to get back on track. Sorry, you guys! Hope this does well. To those who have been reviewing, thank you lots. I love your love. : To those who haven't, please do! You're the only reason us writers stay influenced to continue. I don't want to let you all down!


	5. Chapter 5: Revelation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note:** Okay, so this chapter is a little weird. Be warned.

**Spoilers:** The fact that Aeris is dead. If you've been reading this, you know. Duh.

**Warnings:** Torture for CloTi fans.

--

"_No, Cloud. This time I'm the one leaving you." Before Cloud could do anything, the door was slammed shut and she was gone. Cloud had his hand out in a "don't go" kind of gesture, but it was weak and she hadn't seen it. Tifa was gone. And he wasn't sure she was coming back._

The words echoed across Cloud's head in the most depressing manner one could have ever witnessed. He cursed the feelings that he was going through, wondering if this is how Tifa felt every time he walked out the door. If it was, Cloud made a personal note to apologize when he saw Tifa again, if he ever did. He knew it was going to be a long day full of explaining, calling, and pacing. Where could she have gone?

On the first day, Cloud called Barrett and begged him to watch the kids for however long it took. Any business he had to do that Marlene and Denzel couldn't go with him for, Cloud said he'd do himself. Barrett had been all against it until the blond had told him that Tifa was gone. No, she wasn't missing. She left. Now that the kids were okay and safe, Cloud felt instantly relieved.

Cloud had also bothered to call Yuffie. Yuffie, of all people. He knew that the ninja girl was never particularly busy and that she happened to be close to Tifa. Not to mention that she was also a girl. The added bonus was that Vincent traveled around a lot, yet always seemed to have great communication with Yuffie, and he'd keep the Forgotten City looked after, too, in case Tifa went there. He didn't give her the basics, but had instead told Yuffie that Tifa had left on a small job for the bar and hadn't come back. If she could keep her eye open wherever she went, that would be nice. Of course he got the, "Oh, is wittle Cwoud worried about his girlfriend?" speech, in which Cloud hung up the phone instantly.

Next up was Cid. In the Highwind (**A/N: **Remember, this is before the movie. There was no Shera model yet.) he could be sure to see almost everything going on in the world. Cid got the fact that Tifa left, but Cloud hadn't told anyone why. He didn't want to admit that it was all his fault, which it was. Cid agreed to help after a long talk about how bad that must be on him, but Cloud hung up as soon as it started getting into why.

After the news was spread, Cloud did some looking of his own. He began to wander around Midgar--mainly in its slums--checking places he knew well and thought Tifa might go. The church, all of sector seven… everywhere. But to no avail. She couldn't be found. Cloud began to curse himself. Why hadn't he run after her the moment the door closed? Was he that stupid? But, most importantly, was she ever going to come back? After the search had warranted not a single glimpse of the barmaid, Cloud went back to Seventh Heaven and up to his bed. It was well into the night/early morning, and he needed sleep. He laid down on his bed and never got to even take off his shoes as sleep claimed him…

"_Cloud," he heard his name carry across an empty void. The voice was so familiar. Where did he know it? This was a dream, obvious by the bright white surrounding him. He had it often, ever since that day…_

"_Aeris?" Cloud asked, maybe with a little too much hope. That's how it always was. He wanted her back more than anything, and maybe that was his problem. A figure appeared in the distance, obviously female, but Cloud still couldn't tell who it was._

_A sigh echoed around. "Aeris, huh? That's who you want to see the most, Cloud?" The figure moved closer, but no matter how close it got, he couldn't tell any distinguishable parts or features. Cloud then realized that he wasn't hearing one voice, but two. They were overlapping, blocking each other out yet complementing each other well. "You've got to choose now, Cloud. You can't wait forever. Neither can… You know it in your head. Why don't you ever bother to look? Are you afraid of what you'll find?"_

"_Yes," Cloud answered truthfully. This was Aeris, right? He could tell her anything. Even if he didn't, she knew. Just like… "I don't know what goes on up there anymore. I'm frightened. Please, Aeris, won't you ever come back?"_

_The voices chuckled as the figure was so close Cloud could touch it. "Is it Aeris that you want to come back, Cloud? Do you want Aeris the most? Look inside your head. It's safe here." No matter how close the woman-figure got, there was still nothing to tell who it was by. Cloud found himself growing more and more curious._

_But, he did as told and looked into his head. He saw Aeris smiling, but then felt different. This wasn't it. That wasn't her face. Her eyes were all wrong and her hair was styled incorrectly, even with the wrong color. Aeris wasn't the right girl. What…?_

_The voices chuckled, one now louder than the other. "See? You didn't want Aeris all along." The figure began to take on form as it pressed itself close to Cloud. The hair grew out long and straight, eyes began to turn brown like chocolate. A warm hand pressed itself against Cloud's cheek, and those soft, pink lips got ever closer to his own._

"_Tifa," Cloud breathed. Only millimeters separated them now…_

Cloud sat up straight, eyes wide. His breathing was the only noise in the room, as fast and heavy as it was. Cloud could feel his heart pounding so harshly against his ribcage that he thought it would bust through and leave him. He kinda wished it would. After a few minutes, Cloud buried his face in his hands. What was going on? That dream was so vivid, so clear, so _real_. What did it mean? Was Aeris no longer so important to him?

Confused more than ever, Cloud got up out of his bed. He took a quick shower and changed into fresh clothes. Tifa wasn't in Midgar anymore. That was for sure. So, he'd have to use what he knew of her and go look. Or maybe he could simply search the whole world. He decided that the first place to look would be the Chocobo Farm. If she was traveling on foot, that'd be one of the first places to go. There one could get a chocobo and be set to travel anywhere quickly and effectively.

This was going to work, Cloud decided. He wasn't going to sit and do nothing. Tifa had to be found, and he was going to find her. Even with all his friends looking, nothing would stop him. This may not have been a battle for the planet, but Cloud was turning it into a personal war. He would find Tifa. She would come home. He wasn't going to give up again. Ever.

--

**Author's Note: **Yeah, so, the dream is long. Oh well. I had to do it. The scene where Cloud realizes that Aeris is no longer who he wants the most. And, don't worry, he'll be doing a lot of looking. Mwahahah. I might throw in some comedy if I get the chance. Just keep reviewing! It keeps me going. Please, you have no idea until you're an author yourself. Thanks for all the support, you guys! Love you all!


	6. Chapter 6: Searching

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **It switches between Tifa and Cloud's POVs. Be warned. You'll usually be able to tell, though… Also, if it seems like I am getting wiser about the game situation, it's because I am. Don't hate me, but I'm in the process of playing the game (for the first time) as I write. I think I'm doing well, don't you?

**Spoilers: **Red XIII's real name. Not too shabby.

**Warnings: **Minor cussing.

_--_

_He would find Tifa. She would come home. He wasn't going to give up again. Ever._

--

Tifa didn't even know where she was going anymore. The road had long since disappeared and there weren't any travelers to point out her way to another area. If it hadn't been for the need of food and a seriously nice place to rest, she wouldn't mind wandering around the area for a long, long time. Unfortunately, Tifa had left impulsively and didn't grab much food on her way out, so a city was becoming a must. The night was crawling in fast and all hope of seeing a town before nightfall was lost. Until a familiar voice took her ears.

"Lost?"

Tifa turned her head and she found herself face-to-"face with Nanaki. She blinked, surprised, before smiling a little.

"Only a bit. I left without an idea of where I was going and forgot to grab a world map… Do you happen to know where I am? … Where we are?"

Nanaki smiled and nodded his head. "I hope you remember crossing the water or something because you're coming up fast on my hometown."

Tifa's eyes widened a little and she blinked some more. "Cosmo Canyon? You mean… I was heading in the direction of Nibelheim?" She did remember crossing the water, knowing that there wasn't much near Midgar but that one small town and the Chocobo Farm. Junon and Fort Condor were nice hideout cities, but they were far and nothing but a large trap. Tifa didn't have a sub so she couldn't hide in the ocean instead, even if that sounded really cool. West had been the only way to go.

Nanaki nodded again. It looked rather comical, his head bobbing about and so forth. "Pretty much. It's a miracle you've gotten this far without noticing it, though. You'd pretty much have to take the same path you took lots of times going back to Nibelheim."

Tifa chuckled. "I suppose so. I must be in quite a daze."

"They only sent me out here since the guard saw you. They thought you might be an enemy or something," Nanaki stated.

Tifa blinked. "Me? An enemy? How could they think that?"

"Well, you are far from their vision and your clothes have changed some. They look nice, by the way."

"Thank you," Tifa said with a smile. She then stood and stared around. She wondered how Nanaki could see, but then remembered that he was a dog-like animal of higher intelligence. Naturally, he would have heightened senses and be able to see in the dark. "Are we far from Cosmo Canyon?"

"Not really, if you can keep up with my running."

"I'll try to, then." She needed the bed, the supplies, and the joy of company. She hadn't talked to anyone since she left and, after thirty thousand phone calls from everyone she knew, Tifa had turned off her cell phone. She figured that if Nanaki knew she was gone, then the worst he'd do is run to Midgar in the night and tell Cloud. But, by the looks of it, he seemed out of the loop. (Probably because he was the only one without a cell phone, aside from Vincent. Paws plus buttons do not work well.)

Both former warriors then ran off to Nanaki's hometown. Tifa got a nice, comfortable bed with warm blankets, a hot meal, and a pre-sleep campfire hangout with some of the town citizens, who still remembered her from back then. Over all, it hurt a little to know that she'd have to be gone early in the morning. Staying in one place, especially one so familiar, was not good if she didn't feel like being found. Part of her was mad at herself for running like Cloud always did, but the other part was a little glad that he was getting a taste of his own medicine. That was her last thought before sleep overwhelmed the raven-haired female.

--

Damn it all to hell. That woman was just too smart. She either figured that getting a chocobo would leave tracks or she simply didn't want to take the time to go out of her way to get the yellow birds. Both ways, Tifa didn't have a chocobo and the farmer hadn't seen her at all. Now it was back to the drawing board. Where would Tifa go, why would she go there, and what path would she take to get there?

Oh, great. For this one, Cloud would have to get inside Tifa's head. She usually didn't have to since Cloud would just do his not-as-important deliveries when he took off, so Tifa could usually just look up a record and know his general whereabouts. She'd wanted to get into his head for once, but now the tables turned and he was going to have to get into hers. How ironic.

"First things first," Cloud muttered to himself. "Would she have taken a boat anywhere? She wouldn't hide so close to Midgar if she didn't want to be found…" Okay, so that cleared up some possibilities. Junon and Fort Condor could have been possibilities, but Cloud knew that if Tifa went that way, she'd be cornering herself. Tifa knew it, too. She wouldn't have gone to any of those places. "Where would Tifa go?" Think, think, think… Cloud was starting to sound like an overweight yellow bear.

He decided that driving while he was looking was a considerably nice idea. Cloud jumped onto Fenrir and shot off towards a shore. He needed to find a ferry. He wasn't about to ride Highwind over and leave Fenrir in Midgar, and walking seemed just so painfully slow at the moment. If Tifa was on foot, then any vehicle would be faster than her. He'd make up for lost time and a full day of self-pitying quickly. He had to.

The ferry ride had been _miserable_. People gaped at Cloud's bike--all ten of them, actually--and one even knew him as the "famous hero that saved the world". That was pleasant, since everyone then decided they wanted to be in awe the rest of the way. Everyone knew about Cloud Strife and his gang of warriors who saved the planet, but few knew any of their faces.

Needless to say, Cloud got off that boat as soon as possible.

Costa del Sol. That's where he ended up. The city was far too bright for him, so Cloud took off as soon as he got some first aid and food. The food was obvious but the first aid was for the monsters. They tended to attack a lot. Cloud bought more than he needed for himself, assuming that Tifa might not have gotten any and might need it if he found her. Better to be safe than sorry.

The path through the mountain was long and boring. The Corel reactor was dumpy and looked rather terrible, so Cloud decided to go around it as best as he could. It was difficult, but he ended up bypassing North Corel completely and soon found himself wandering through the Gold Saucer Area. By the time night fell, Cloud was readying himself in the inn there, rolling his eyes at the haunted setting. Before he fell asleep, Cloud recalled Tifa coming in once and taking him out. They'd been in a play and saw lovely fireworks… She'd had something to say, but didn't seem able to tell him. Cloud missed it and suddenly really wanted to know what she was thinking then, too.

Where, oh where, could Tifa be?

--

Tifa sat around the large fire in Cosmo Canyon. The sun was setting the horizon aflame as it began rising to its job in the sky. She'd taken a bath and some women had washed (and repaired any damage) her clothes while she did so. Now that she was clean, well-fed and well-rested, Tifa felt as though leaving was going to be harsh. Not to mention that Nanaki seemed like he wanted to catch up with her.

"Speaking of which, why are you all alone?" Nanaki asked. They'd been reminiscing a bit and talking about travels.

Tifa bit her lip for a second before smiling a little. "I wanted to see the world again. Cloud said it was dangerous to go alone, but I thought I'd like the quiet. Besides, Barrett has Marlene and I couldn't very well leave Denzel alone," Tifa lied. She felt bad about it, knowing Nanaki could be trusted, but she couldn't bring herself to tell the truth.

"Cloud's actually watching a child?" Nanaki asked. "That seems… surprising. I never pictured him as the fatherly type."

"I think Cloud would make a great father," Tifa blurted. Oops. "I mean… He might be a little cut off from everyone, but he's actually got this fatherly air to him around the kids. He'll play with them sometimes, take them for rides on Fenrir when he thinks I'm not looking, and then when it comes time to be responsible, he'll let the kids know if they're doing wrong."

Nanaki started at Tifa for a while, making her nervous. "You seem to put a lot of emotion into those words."

Tifa chuckled. "Maybe I do," she admitted. "But it's true… I thought that they might see him as a random guy who appears often, but disappears as quickly, but Denzel looks up to him like a son would respect a father. Marlene has Barrett, but we all know he's more doting than anything. Cloud's almost like a step dad…"

Nanaki stared and then stood up. "I think I see it now. Before, we'd all been too concerned about Aeris. Now I think I see who really liked Cloud all along."

Tifa also stood and she stared into the fire. So everyone else thought that Aeris should have been with Cloud even when she had done so much more? Tifa had been his childhood friend. She helped him find out who he was. She took care of him while he was poisoned by Mako… Why had she always been second place?

"I think it's time for me to go. Nanaki, you should really stay with Cait Smith, or get him to be around here. It'd be helpful if we ever need to call you, or just want to say hi." Tifa smiled. "No offense, but I don't think you can use a cell phone very well."

Nanaki smiled and started walking to the town gates. "Alright, alright. I'll find Reeve and ask if I can have a personal Cait buddy. That'll make for an interesting conversation."

They finally reached the edge of Cosmo Canyon and the one guard moved out of the way. Tifa said her farewell and even gave Nanaki a small hug. With a wave and a flick of a tail, both heroes of the planet said goodbye one more time.

And Tifa was headed towards her own hometown.

--

Cloud officially hated Gold Saucer. Somehow, he'd managed to get a chocobo to fall in love with his hair and now the said bird was following him along with a parade of giggling children. Part of him couldn't wait to tell Tifa and he knew that he was starting to get a "look how much I went through to get you back" speech. Peachy.

By the time the staff managed to get the chocobo off and end the--by then--riot of people, it was way too late. Cloud cursed the distraction, seeing as it gave Tifa more time. He got on Fenrir as soon as possible and began speeding off. There was no way in hell that she was going to get away from him that easily. Cloud figured that he'd search the whole world if he had to, even places he never wanted to go again.

Cloud thought he was going to quit his job by the time night began to fall. Traveling was quickly loosing its splendor. Monsters were attacking him left and right, obstacles appeared, detours had to be made at times, and he'd even taken a few dead end paths by accident. It seemed as if the whole world wanted him to go home and let Tifa go. Well, this was one thing he was not going to do for the planet. He wasn't letting Tifa go for anything, he needed her now. At least he knew it.

Just when he thought that freedom was in his grasp, he was attacked. Cloud groaned as he was pounced on and pushed off Fenrir. His bike slid for a while before stopping in the distance as Cloud lay on the ground, dazed and weaponless. Some feral beast lunged at him and Cloud kicked it, using its momentum and his legs to guide it over him. The best landed and slid some, giving Cloud time. While it was confused, Cloud ran for the bike. He grabbed his buster sword and spun around in time to block an attack from the beast. He was knocked over and found himself staring at his attacker in the face.

Cloud blinked as he pushed back a bit, lowering his sword to his side. The best backed off and Cloud was able to sit up, more confused now.

"Sorry about that. You looked like a really dangerous enemy, speeding at us like that," it stated simply while lowering its hind legs to sit. "Didn't mean any harm if it's you… Hey, aren't you supposed to be watching Denzel? He's not here, is he? I'd feel terrible if I hurt him, too, in the attack…"

Cloud blinked, blowing off the final statement. He knew the general area he was in, having delivered many a valuable item. He breathed deeply before standing and walking back to Fenrir. The talking animal padded around behind him. Cloud put his sword away and straightened out his bike.

"Nanaki," he muttered. "What do you mean by, 'Aren't you supposed to be watching Denzel?'"

Nanaki blinked, sitting again and flicking his tail.

"You don't know?" he asked. "Tifa came by earlier."

Cloud felt all time stop as he heard that sentence. Nothing else mattered. Tifa had been there.

--

**Author's Note: **A)I hope everyone got the Winnie the Pooh reference.

B) I didn't know if his bike's name was Fenrir or Fenris, so I left it blank until I knew.

C) I enjoy torturing Cloud with distraction and by making fun of his hair.

D) The ending sucks. I know.

E) Would anyone believe me if I said I wrote these chapters impulsively and that NOTHING is planned?

F) Everything is impulsively written and NOTHING is planned.


	7. Chapter 7: Nibelheim

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **Erm… Not much to say here, other than, "Sorry it takes so long! Please be patient with a poor writer like me!" There's one Cloud/Tifa POV switch in here, though.

**Spoilers: **Erm… Nibelheim?

**Warnings: **I think there's a cuss word in here somewhere.

--

"_You don't know?" Nanaki asked. "Tifa came by earlier."_

_Cloud felt all time stop as he heard that sentence. Nothing else mattered. Tifa had been to Cosmo Canyon._

_--_

Cloud felt like he was going to glomp poor Nanaki. Thankfully, his serious nature and male pride wasn't going to let him. Tifa had dropped by Cosmo Canyon, he was so close to getting her back! Now that he knew where she was, Cloud didn't feel like sleeping for the night. He parked Fenrir at the base and ran up the steps to the main town so fast that it put a racing chocobo to shame. The guard barely had enough time to let him through.

"Tifa!" Cloud called, heading towards the bonfire. Nanaki was close behind.

"Cl--"

"Tifa?" Cloud called again, this time heading up the stairs on the other side of town.

"Clou--"

"…Where's Tifa? Tifa! Tifa!" Cloud had entered the area up the stairs and was looking everywhere.

"Cloud!" Nanaki exclaimed, finally gaining the blonde's attention. "She left yesterday."

Cloud frowned as the sky fell. So she was gone after all.

"When did she leave exactly?" he asked. "Where was she going? Is she alright?"

Nanaki frowned, lowering his rear end to sit. "She left yesterday at dawn. She was heading towards Nibelheim, I think. (She'd probably be there by now.) She seemed fine… Why are you so concerned? Is Denzel okay?"

"Dammit," Cloud cursed. "Nibelheim, it figures… And what's all this about Denzel? I left him with Barrett!"

Nanaki blinked. "Tifa said she wanted to travel and that you were watching Denzel for her… I only assumed that since you were here, he was hurt or something."

"She left me," Cloud stated simply. "Not like that, though. She just walked out and I'm running after her… She didn't tell you that?"

"No." Nanaki stood again and ran off. Cloud almost followed, but the red-furred animal was back quickly. With some items. "Here's some materia. We managed to hide some from Yuffie. Keep it just in case. You never know anymore. There's lightning and ice--your favorites--then there's fire, restore, and heal materia. Just the absolute basic."

Cloud smiled gratefully and equipped as much as he could, saving fire for Tifa. "Thanks. I'll be this way again, so… I guess we can all talk around the fire after I get Tifa back."

"That sounds like a fine promise," Nanaki responded, swishing his tail towards the gate. "You'd better get her back. If she slips out of your grip and comes this way, I'll stall her. Now hurry before she gets to some mountain or something."

Cloud nodded and was off. There was no other way to say goodbye, since he'd be back. Tifa was running and with Fenrir, he'd be lucky to catch her before she left. Knowing Tifa, she'd take some time to remember things, even if it'd be short due to her trying to put distance. Time was running out fast.

--

Tifa sighed. Loudly. It'd been a little over a day since she left Cosmo Canyon and here she was, just getting into her hometown. She'd been slow since suddenly all the monsters in the universe popped up. Tifa hated being attacked, especially while she was alone. She stumbled into the inn as soon as she arrived, hoping that a night of sleep would make her health better by the morning.

After an hour of staring at the sunny window, Tifa decided to explore the town a bit. She talked to some random people, some of whom vaguely remembered her, but seemed completely uninterested in talking about anything. That was fine. Tifa went into her old home and explored it, looking around and remembering a great many things. By the time she was done with the town, the sun was setting. Tifa walked back to the inn and settled into the bed. It felt warm and the softness of it was so alluring, she felt like she could fall asleep quickly…

--

Cloud arrived at Nibelheim late in the night. The stars were bright and the city was quiet. Cloud parked Fenrir at the entrance to the city, then walked in. He felt relieved that no one was about, hoping to avoid as much as he could. Cloud didn't like being here. It made him oddly nervous.

The first place he looked was Tifa's house. Just in case. One could never know. Once he cleared the place to be a negative, Cloud then headed over towards the inn. If she already left, then the manager would at least know how long ago it'd been. Telling himself it was for the best, Cloud walked in looking like the SOLDIER he once claimed to be.

"Excuse me?" he asked the manager, who seemed to be asleep. A clock on the wall told him it was three in the morning. "Excuse me!"

The man awoke with a start, staring fearfully at Cloud. "E-er, yes, Sir?"

"Have you seen Tifa?" Cloud blurted, then remembered that not everyone knew her by name. "Er… A woman with longish black hair, yea high, erm… a nice chest… area…" He half-whispered the last part, looking oddly shy at merely saying it.

"Oh, the nice lady with the brown eyes and no weapon?"

"That's the one."

The man nodded, then looked at Cloud oddly. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm looking for her," Cloud blurted again. Man did that sound wrong. "…She's gone missing and I was told this is where she was last seen heading towards." It was only a bend of the truth, really.

"Oh!" the man exclaimed, standing up with a new energy. "In that case, she's right upstairs in room 8. I'll show you the wa--….? Where'd he go?"

Cloud had bolted for it as soon as he heard that Tifa was upstairs. There was no way. She couldn't be so close. It was some other woman, it had to be. _Don't think like that, _Cloud told himself. _You'll never get her back like that._

The stairs were so much longer than he remembered and the hallway was far too stretched. Room 8 just had to be at the opposite end of the building. Cloud slowed his pace as he passed Room 6 and stopped in front of her door.

"Tifa?" Cloud called quietly, in case others were sleeping. "Tifa, if you're in there, open the door. Please."

Cloud pushed on it a little and noticed it was open. Taking the chance, he slipped inside the dark room, wanting Tifa to be there more than he'd wanted anything in his whole life.

--

**Author's Note: **HAHAH. I bet you all hate me now. Good, good. It'll keep you wanting the next chapter. I don't know how much farther this'll go, but all good things must come to an end. I need to start planning stuff, geez. Please wait for me! And please, please, PLEASE keep reviewing!!


	8. Author's Apologies

I'm really, _really_ sorry you guys!

I know it's cruel of me to have written this awesome story and then not write it for a while.

But my muse died. And then I was shoved into a long, computer-less vacation.

And now it's cruel to make you think there's an update. ;;

Either way, there probably won't be one until sometime in mid to late August (I hope).

I'm **_really_** sorry.

I hope you all can _forgive me_!

--CoralianButterfly; your beloved author whom you don't hate… right? D:


	9. Chapter 8: Finally

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.

**Author's Note: **Sorry it takes me so long to write! I'm such a terrible writer.

**Spoilers: **Minor Tifa and Cloud's childhood memories.

**Warnings: **Minor cussing? This chapter sucks.

--

_Cloud pushed on it a little and noticed it was open. Taking the chance, he slipped inside the dark room, wanting Tifa to be there more than he'd wanted anything in his whole life._

--

"Tifa?" Cloud called out uncertainly. No response, go figure. She was probably sleeping. It was really early in the morning. Cloud slowly walked in, heading towards the bed. "Tifa?" Cloud asked again. Yet another lack of response.

Cloud then reached the bed and he stared at it. Even in the dark, the shape didn't look right… It wasn't Tifa. Though, he still had to know. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it back quickly, whispering, "Tifa!" kind of harshly.

She wasn't there. The bump had been the sheets underneath all tossed about. Tifa… she was gone all over again. Cloud cursed rather loudly and stormed out of the inn. He started ranting to himself about the world being full of idiots. But at least he was close. The manager didn't even know she left. Tifa hadn't been in her room, but she had to be just around the corner.

Cloud then started to walk out of Nibelheim. He was determined to go to Mt. Nibel. That was the only path Tifa could have taken while still avoiding him, right? Cloud continued straight up the pathway. The situation seemed oddly familiar. Not to mention this horrible feeling in his gut. What was going on…?

Cloud wandered up the pathway, sighing. He'd forgotten how long it was and he hadn't even brought Fenrir to take him faster along the path. Way off in the distance, he could see the bridge that lead up to the reactor. The whole thing seemed like bad luck to both Tifa and Cloud. The time she'd gotten into a coma on the bridge and the whole scene with Sephiroth at the reactor… bad luck. It only inspired him to run faster. Tifa had to be close. He could just feel it.

Before he knew it, Cloud was at the bridge. He wanted to launch across it faster than the speed of light, but yet… he was frozen in place. Up ahead. Tifa. He wanted to call out her name, but his voice was stuck in his throat. He'd found her. She was _right there_. He finally got his feet to work as he started to walk slowly across the wooden bridge. There was one odd thing, though.

The farther he moved, the closer Tifa got. If she was moving, too, then shouldn't they be going about the same distance, if not the distance increasing because he was going so slowly? Then it hit him. She was standing still.

--

Tifa didn't know why. She just suddenly lost the will to keep moving and so… she stopped. She stood there, thinking. Why would she want to stop? What made her stop? What was the point of running like this? Cloud always came back, didn't he? So why was she still running? Surely she didn't want to run so far that she couldn't come back… right?

After a nice, long minute, Tifa heard a noise coming from behind her. She didn't worry. Some creatures just naturally started roaming around without the intention of a battle. The only thing that worried her is that the noise got louder. It was coming towards her. Just when she thought that she was within seconds of being attacked, she whirled around with her fists raised, glaring. There wasn't much time to respond.

The thing had gripped her with what felt like arms, pulling her close to it. Just what sort of animal was this? What kind of sick attack…? Then she noticed. Human arms. She was wrapped in _human_ arms. And she was being held to a human male chest. That's when reality hit her. Arms, chest, security, that _scent_… It couldn't be. There was just no way. Even all the way out here, she'd been found. She'd been found by…

"Cloud," Tifa breathed, surprised. "Cloud."

--

**Author's Note: **I know how much you all hate me for delaying this. And I'm really sorry! I should be doing one more chapter, and then it's the end, 'kay? I know, I know. I'm sad about it, too. Just keep on reviewing to keep my spirits up, will ya? I need it.


	10. Chapter 9: Resolution

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters. I do own this story, though. FOREVER!!

**Author's Note: **Finally. What we've all been waiting for! Oh, and I realize now my mistake. I call Aerith "Aeris" throughout the story, but I'm changing it now. The translators messed it up. Wish I'd known that sooner! D:

**Spoilers: **Shouldn't be any. Oo

**Warnings: **Cid has a dirty (but hilariously censored) mouth.

--

_The thing had gripped her with what felt like arms, pulling her close to it. Just what sort of animal was this? What kind of sick attack…? Then she noticed. Human arms. She was wrapped in human arms. And she was being held to a human male chest. That's when reality hit her. Arms, chest, security, that scent… It couldn't be. There was just no way. Even all the way out here, she'd been found. She'd been found by…_

"_Cloud," Tifa breathed, surprised. "Cloud."_

--

Tifa just felt so… odd. All the emotions flooding her brain just made it want to shut down. It kind of did, too. Tifa just stood there, wrapped by strong arms, blinking.

"Cloud," she stated again. It seemed to be all she could say. Not that the blond man really minded.

"Yes, Tifa. It's me," he said for nearly the fifteenth time. She kept repeating his name, and that was the only response he had to it. So far.

"You came," Tifa finally muttered. "You followed me…"

Cloud sighed. He knew this was coming. "Yes, Tifa. I did. I… It seemed right."

This caused Tifa to frown a bit, burrowing her brow. That didn't sound right the way he said it. "It seemed right?" she inquired, curious nonetheless. "How so?"

"When you left, I… had a dream. Or a revelation. Or something. Aerith was in it." Cloud didn't seem inclined to let go of her soon, either. Tifa didn't seem bothered by it. He quickly continued on as Tifa frowned more. "Not in a bad way. I saw… what I needed to. Aerith is dead now, I know this. And… you've always been there, so…"

Tifa blinked, snapping her attention up. It'd really been too long since she stared into those glowing blue eyes… "What exactly are you trying to say, Cloud?" Tifa asked, biting her lip a bit. This was all so surreal.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is…" Cloud paused, thinking. He had to say it right. If he didn't, then Tifa could easily pull away and he could lose her again. He didn't want that. It'd be too unbearable. "…I think it was you all along. Not Aerith."

Tifa bit her lip harder, trying not to go too hard. She didn't really want to start bleeding and attract some nasty monsters to this too-good-to-be-real moment. "You mean…?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah. I… I love you." The words came out quietly and Cloud said them with his head turned to the side and down so that he was staring at the ground, but they were true. He just wasn't used to the whole blunt expressing of his emotions yet.

Tifa had to chuckle, though. He looked like some little kid that just walked up to a crush and told her he liked her or something. "Hm. I love me, too." Tifa chuckled as Cloud scrunched up his face in a sort of "I deserve that" frown. "I'm kidding, Cloud. I… I love you, too."

Cloud had his "I'm too man to blush" face on. Translation: if it weren't for all his testosterones, Cloud would probably be a dark shade of red. It made Tifa chuckle again. He was just the best.

"Thanks," Cloud muttered.

Tifa smiled a bit before blinking. "So… You really came." She didn't seem to be able to get over that.

"Yes," Cloud sighed. "I ran into Nanaki, too. He didn't get my distress call, so that's probably why he didn't stop you."

"Distress call?" Tifa asked, curious.

Cloud chuckled nervously. "Uh… yeah. I, er… I wanted to find you fast, so… I kinda… called… everyone."

"Everyone except Nanaki," Tifa stated.

"Yeah, that." Cloud averted his gaze again, embarrassed. He had that "too man to blush" face on again.

"You didn't tell Yuffie, did you?" Tifa asked. "She'll never let you hear the end of it."

"I believe I told her that you were missing," Cloud stated. "Not that you ran away. I'm not _that_ empty-headed."

Tifa chuckled once more before finally pulling herself out of Cloud's embrace. She then turned back towards the reactor, but didn't move. "I don't know where I was planning to go," she stated casually. "I think I was just running until I didn't want to run anymore. I don't think I had a plan beyond that." She turned back to Cloud and blinked. "You've done that, haven't you? But once I got past the edge of the bridge, I… I didn't want to run anymore. I didn't really want to move at all. I think… I wanted to be found. You covered that, though."

Cloud smirked a bit. "Heh. … Yeah, I've done that. That's why some deliveries take me so long," he remarked. "After it's dropped off, I just… keep going on. I pass up Midgar, but… I don't want to stop. Though, I know no one would come looking to find me, so--"

Tifa cut him off. "I would, Cloud. If you ever stayed out too long, I'd travel the whole world until I at least found a body." She couldn't help but smile at her small joke. "Even if I had to grab the submarine and go searching in the ocean."

Cloud stood still for a moment. "I should've known," he finally stated. There was a nice pause before he continued. "Let's go home."

Tifa turned around fully and nodded. "Yeah."

--

_Five days later…_

Cloud fidgeted as everyone stared at him. He never liked that. The others always looking at him as if they couldn't do anything else. Always staring… like he was above them or something. When would they learn that he was their equal, not their leader!?

He sighed and Nanaki flicked his tail. "So… after all of that, we… er… just called you guys. She's fine, as you can see." Cloud motioned a gloved hand Tifa's way. He had his arms crossed before that, leaning against the wall with one leg up on it. Reminded him of the old days. Tifa merely waved with a smile.

Yuffie looked like she'd won the Olympics. It pissed Cloud off to no end. "So you lied, you… liar!" Smart one. "You made Tifa run away because you're so stupid. Then you had to go and get her back. Good thing she stopped, or you'd have never--"

"Yuffie," Vincent stated bluntly. She stopped talking immediately. Vincent then looked up at Cloud. "So that's… it?" he asked. "Nothing else…?"

Cloud sighed. He knew it was going to come to this. "Well, I… I had to make up for lost time, so… well… we, erm…" He put on the all-too-familiar expression and looked away, falling silent.

Tifa laughed, startling most everyone. "Cloud, when you trail off like that, they thing odd things! Look at Barrett's face!" She chuckled once before walking over to the crowd and holding out her hand. "It's not like that. He actually proposed."

Nanaki smiled; Cait Smith started clapping; Vincent looked… well, it's Vincent; Barrett instantly wandered over to shove Cloud roughly in the arm with his non-metallic arm, grinning; Yuffie giggled, jumping up and down while "squeeing" (Cloud thought she looked more excited than Tifa had); and Cid started laughing. For once, Cloud's testosterone failed him and he turned a nice shade of pink along with Tifa.

Before he knew what was going on, though, Cloud was suddenly a hundred pounds heavier by his feet. He looked down to see each of the kids, beaming, latched onto a respective leg. Cloud couldn't help but smile.

Cid finally declared that it was "high time someone got some &ing sense into their heads" and decided that everyone went out for a round of drinks. Tifa then stated that one free round would be available at Seventh Heaven so long as they didn't make too much noise. Cloud had gone up to tuck the kids to bed and didn't want to drink anyways.

"Hey there," Tifa smiled as she stood in the door way while he finished pulling up Denzel's covers.

Cloud smiled and walked over there when he was done. He closed the door behind him, hearing one or two snickers from behind the block of wood. Silly kids. "Hey."

Tifa wrapped her arms around Cloud and smiled as he returned the favor. They heard a loud wave of laughter downstairs, but took no notice. "Hmm," she hummed. "I can get used to this."

"The bustle of drunkards, one of which is underage for the record, downstairs laughing noisily while I try to get the kids to finally go to sleep?" Cloud asked, joking. Tifa half-smiled.

"No. Just standing here in your arms with a rock tied to my finger via gold." She smiled at Cloud's wry smile. Tifa moved her head so that she was looking Cloud directly face-to-face. "The drunkards make it interesting, though."

Cloud couldn't help but smile a bit as he, too, looked down. He paused for a moment before leaning down. His lips brushed against hers. Tifa had soft lips. Smooth, satiny, and pink… they always tasted a bit like sweet cinnamon, too, and it made him curious as to why. He smirked a bit as he leaned back up. Tifa just kept blinking.

"You know what? …I could get used to this, too."

--

**Author's Note: **Here's the end! I'll be going through my email and I might post a special thing after this listing all my favorite fans and stuff. Be warned, the list might be long. D:

But I really wish you guys knew how much you've done for me. I hated watching this end, but I'm so proud of it! Impulsively written, I never thought so many would like _If Only I Knew_. sigh I love how you all love me. :

Did anyone else think the ending sucked as much as I did?

Please review all the same. Or else I might never write another story! flails

I love you all. Thank you so much! gives out free cookies to everyone


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